Work Hard, Play Hard

The Japanese are known internationally for being very diligent workers. Straight faced, buttoned up, rigid. They get the job done, is the impression. They take their responsibilities very seriously and they are not on speaking terms with frivolous distractions like humour. They are, amongst stereotypes, the Germans of the East.


Now an entire blog post (or a book) could be written (and have been written) about how this is not, strictly speaking, accurate. So I’m going to avoid that part of the conversation. It’s a stereotype, and as with all stereotypes, they are exaggerations of prevalent traits. I will say though, that Japanese people spend a great deal of their life at work. And that there can often be the “work face” and the “.......

Actually, I have no idea what to call the other face. Because it’s just plain crazy. And it comes in many, many forms. Come with me, and we’ll explore just some of the faces that I’ve seen unveiled while at work parties in Japan...

The Musical Virtuoso
This person will corner you, and discuss at length a profound musical observation they have made. Do you know what Let It Be, Que Sera Sera and Traditional Japanese Folk Singing have in common? He does. And he’ll tell you. He might not know the words to any of the songs, but he’ll sing them for you to demonstrate. Oh how he’ll sing. Sing along if you know what’s good for you.

The J-Pop Wannabe
This one moves in packs. At some point during the night, several of these will run into the room, dressed in half a school uniform, possibly not designed for their gender, possibly wielding props, and proceed to perform an enthusiastic (yet not adequately rehearsed) song and dance. The students can never know.

The Reverse-Pickpocket
This parent will attempt to sneak thousands of Yen into your hand or pocket. Goodness knows why. You don’t even teach their child. Beware of the vague feeling that you have entered into a dicey contract.

The Karaoke Hitman
This one is particularly dangerous, constant vigilance is advised. They will queue up a song on the karaoke machine. It will be forty years old, and against all odds it will have attained stellar popularity in Japan. You will not know how how it goes. You will never even have heard of it. And you will be handed a microphone. Why? Because “It’s in English”.

The Serial Debaser
Either self-deprecation or the lowering of one’s own family being the focus here. This person will insist, nay, demand that you accept that their child is ugly. Such is their vehemence that resistance is useless. Acknowledge all their failings, and those of anyone fortunate enough to be considered close to them. They will stop only when sufficient shame has been levelled against their loved ones.

The Hidden Linguist
You will never had heard this person speak. In any language. Now they’re speaking yours. At work, they are too reserved to attempt a conversation. But here, at this party, everything they’ve ever wanted to ask you will pour out. Questions may be shouted suddenly across a table, or whispered in your ear when you never even noticed them approach. On concluding the conversation, they will experience tremendous satisfaction, no matter how broken the English. The best thing about this face, is that everyone will wear it at some point in the night. This is largely owing to...

The How Much Have I Drunkard
At a sit down party, glasses provided for drinks are small to the point of being dainty. But nobody pours their own drink. And nobody’s glass is ever empty. Each conversation had involves pouring and being poured a new drink. If a glass is already full, space is expected to be made, with haste. This person has absolutely no idea how much they have consumed over the course of the night’s merriments. This person should be watched out for, but they may be difficult to spot. Because this person is you.